You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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