my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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