And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
