Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
