As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
