I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
