those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
