You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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