I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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