i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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