we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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