I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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