; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
