the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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