Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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