Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Are we still banned from the library?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I supernannyed him into submission
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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