i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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