Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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