just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize