She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just tell him i said nine months
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
