those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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