today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
