After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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