you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
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Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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