Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
