Three words: puerto rican gang bang
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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