I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
