I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
