Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
