I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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