My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
