Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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