marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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