I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
