Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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