And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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