hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
