they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
