Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...

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  (203): there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it... http://tfl.nu/nw7o
  Replies (19) Good night (2581) Bad night (797)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.

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  (248): I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first. http://tfl.nu/88zr
  Replies (18) Good night (3498) Bad night (475)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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  (631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad
  Replies (74) Good night (4035) Bad night (1825)
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  (626): View more from California

  dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.

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  (626): dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing. http://tfl.nu/anwj
  Replies (66) Good night (5456) Bad night (2008)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.

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  (719): You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either. http://tfl.nu/n0om
  Replies (6) Good night (2598) Bad night (1242)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks

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  (201): we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks http://tfl.nu/c3q4
  Replies (8) Good night (992) Bad night (2477)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?

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  (731): What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry? http://tfl.nu/iiar
  Replies (32) Good night (1481) Bad night (4775)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

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  (416): You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere... http://tfl.nu/u20i
  Replies (6) Good night (2160) Bad night (1675)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns

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  (509): Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns http://tfl.nu/s30q
  Replies (11) Good night (1789) Bad night (748)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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  (202): Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay. http://tfl.nu/iy0k
  Replies (10) Good night (558) Bad night (1896)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.

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  (850): So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them. http://tfl.nu/vjo6
  Replies (7) Good night (1242) Bad night (442)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.

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  (734): Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go. http://tfl.nu/sxv0
  Replies (7) Good night (992) Bad night (402)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over

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  (515): Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over http://tfl.nu/s97w
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (361)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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  (905): He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs http://tfl.nu/gppx
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (229)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.

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  (+44): I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'. http://tfl.nu/incy
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (209)

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