im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂