butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?