why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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