i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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