I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
