Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!

(315): View more from New York

... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...

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(317): View more from Indiana

I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.

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(807): View more from Ontario

at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.

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(815): View more from Illinois

He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.

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(425): View more from Washington

My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked

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(519): View more from Ontario

You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar

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