Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.

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  (805): Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer. http://tfl.nu/1b8s
  Replies (11) Good night (995) Bad night (541)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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  (518): Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird. http://tfl.nu/mxsq
  Replies (8) Good night (694) Bad night (2137)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....

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  (617): wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara..... http://tfl.nu/je0j
  Replies (17) Good night (5520) Bad night (1232)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.

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  (717): this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl. http://tfl.nu/auau
  Replies (19) Good night (1743) Bad night (4278)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.

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  (+44): It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done. http://tfl.nu/song
  Replies (12) Good night (4394) Bad night (926)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude

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  (907): I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude http://tfl.nu/0pzh
  Replies (9) Good night (2364) Bad night (718)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

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  (330): 98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk http://tfl.nu/zq8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1656) Bad night (774)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year

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  (575): He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year http://tfl.nu/6pry
  Replies (11) Good night (1465) Bad night (649)
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  (805): View more from California

  What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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  (805): What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc. http://tfl.nu/01sm
  Replies (29) Good night (3516) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

  (1-951): View more from California

  This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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  (951): You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you. (1-951): This is the first time I'm hearing this information. http://tfl.nu/wdlz
  Replies (20) Good night (3825) Bad night (690)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?

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  (808): Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space? http://tfl.nu/h1sf
  Replies (12) Good night (1378) Bad night (782)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.

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  (814): Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside. http://tfl.nu/5xt4
  Replies (6) Good night (389) Bad night (1087)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?

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  (734): Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook? http://tfl.nu/02qq
  Replies (5) Good night (347) Bad night (528)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.

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  (316): Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in. http://tfl.nu/p4v5
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.

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  (414): Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time. http://tfl.nu/5fso
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (420)

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