I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.