god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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