i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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