you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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