and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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