Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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