I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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