just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I lost the right to judge tonight
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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