Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
