Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
