you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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