hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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