They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
