Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
