He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
