we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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