he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
